From Fascination to Obsession

     It always starts off harmless. Something that intrigued you, makes me learn more about it until you've studied so hard that it's always on your mind, then it stays on your mind so much that it becomes the only thing on your mind, the only thing that seems to matter anymore. That's when your little fascination in something that seemed so small turns into a life size obsession.
     While Moby Dick is an obvious tale of an interest leading to obsession there is also an obsession in Emerson's Self Reliance, maybe less so for himself, but more for his ideas in being self reliant. In Moby Dick, a seaman named Ishmael decides to join a whaling ship since he had never done such a thing before and wanted the experience, but ends up being plunged into a captain's descent into further madness. When on the ship, Captain Ahab's obsession has already become just not full blown as Ishmael sees "there seemed no sign of common bodily illness about him, nor of the recovery from any." I took this line as not only a reflection of how Ishmael saw him, but as a foreshadowing of what looks good at first, but there is something strange and foreboding about it, even before it happens. It's the little wording too, like how he refers to him as being "branded" almost like his obsession is a curse,  since he has already lost his leg to the whale, leading to his pursuit to destroy it. What started out as a love for the sea, became full of vengeance to get revenge on this whale. Ahab sees it as this demon out to get him and his desire to kill it leads to obsession when he abandons his role as captain by neglecting the safely and control of his crew so that he could get this whale. "Now, in his heart, Ahab had some glimpse of this, namely: all my means are sane, my motive and my object mad" which led him to throw away the responsibility and morals of his title to go after pure selfish obsession, even though he suspected the worse within him. This whale was more than a whale, it was the evil he wished to overcome, his own wrongdoings personified, confusing him to do what he thought was right, which only furthered his bad judgment of morals.
     Since I just watched the movie last night, I found a comical, but true connection to a man lost to his obsession in Frank N Furter from The Rocky Horror picture show. While we don't know exactly why they all came to Earth from the planet Transexual, we are given a glimpse of Frank N Furter's ways in the past and how they build up to his creation of Rocky. When Brad and Janet reach the mansion, they learn he wants to create the perfect man. When he sees Rocky is what he considers perfection, all he's concerned about is taking care of Rocky and making sure he is in tip top shape for Frank's desires. His tendencies led him to think you should always "give yourself over to absolute pleasure" so he ends up using all of his friends for his own personal gain. This is revealed after he becomes fed up with his guests and Columbia tells him she "can't stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again... I loved you... do you hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion." Even after he seems to understand what he has done was a bit immoral, his past selfishness and obsession for lust lead to his demise, by those he the servants he thought were on his side. His obsession led to his death, just like Ahab's did because they could see nothing but what they wanted, without a thought of anything else, perhaps even their own well being in the end.

     Though Self Reliance does not seem as dangerous an obsession as pursuing Moby Dick, it ties in another point I wanted to make of how obsession can lead us to abandon our own morals, or more so, when we've gone so far, how can we judge what's right and wrong? Though Emerson talks about becoming self reliant, I also wonder if the things he says can be taken too far. We talked in class about how, men would leave society to go live as hermits by themselves, only relying on what they could provide for themselves by what was naturally around them. Though it seems quite manly and heroic, the question of the cost of being self reliant came up. Losing communication with others and isolating yourself can lead to a loss of actual reality with the rest of the world. Though I don't blame Emerson for his writing, as I actually loved it and was inspired by it, I feel the idea of being self reliant is easily misunderstood. When you are completely self reliant, I feel your morals change and are different from if you depended on at least some things in normal life. Emerson says "good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong, what is against it." I agree with this, but wonder if anything can really be considered moral if everything can be morally good or bad, it just depends on what the person thinks. I think "killing puppies" is bad, but a puppy killer probably thinks it's a good idea. I may be wrong but it seems Emerson feels if this puppy killer thinks it's right, then it is right. I believe when reading Self Reliance we are figuring out our own morals as we go through what he says. We interpret it our own way, which is brilliant, but can be misinterpreted and therefore taken too far in the minds of some people's morals. Very, VERY confusing ha! Another quote I liked that goes along was "Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string." It's true that we should trust ourselves, but how do we know if we can trust ourselves if we are on our own, completely self reliant, wouldn't we start to question ourselves in a "Cast Away" sort of way? I think we need some sort of connection to others that are like us to establish our own sane morals, otherwise we will become obsessed with needing to be disconnected, we will all start having deep conversations with volleyballs, or with an object of our desire that is unhealthy because our morals have been blurred.
     A documentary that I remembered and was inspired by from this was "Grizzly Man." It was about a man named Timothy Treadwell, a man so fascinated and in love with bears that he left society to go try to live among them. His fascination grew to obsession when he began thinking he could touch them and communicate with them without harm. He had done much research and know a lot about their habits, but his "need" for acceptance by the bears made him drop his caution of them still being a wild animal because he really thought he could be one of them. In the end, his love and obsession ended up getting him killed by the animal he thought he had such a connection with. It also took the life of his girlfriend, who ended up getting pulled into his obsession as well. Perhaps his abandonment of society, left him feeling outcast with these animals being his only connection anymore, which is where the idea of self reliance can be taken too far. One of the quotes I liked from Emerson was "what I must do, is all that concerns me, not what the people think." Though good advice, I feel from experience that while we go after what we want most, sometimes to isolation is too strong and breaks a person down. It really is sad because I was always hoping it would work out for him but because he lost sight of reality a bit in his obsession, his desire was taken from him. I really recommend watching it because while he seems a bit insane at times, watching his motives and heart for what he is doing shows a lot about where obsession comes from. It's strange, but it's sort of beautiful.  

This leads to my final questions:

When we do become obsessed, are we sane enough to know what is right or wrong, even if we don't do what's right? I really am not sure since, from experience I do have that feeling of guilt when I am doing something wrong, even when I am doing it. I do not consider myself obsessed when doing these things though so I feel that doesn't count. Since the examples I made show people abandoning morals in pursuit of what they do think is right, I think the answer is probably no, we are not sane in to make these decisions while obsessed, but what do you think?

Like the thought of how our own white whale is an obsession deeper than just the thing itself, in the words of Melville, "can we thus hope to light upon some chance clue to conduct us to the hidden cause we seek?" Can we do this especially if we are not sane?


Melville, Herman. Moby Dick. New York: Oxford University Press, 1851. Print. 

Herzog, Werner , Dir. Grizzly Man. Perf. Treadwell, Timothy. Lions Gate Films: 2005, Film.